May 2013
my english teacher: your essay isn't very well put together
me: my thoughts are stars i cannot fathom into constellations
supermassiveasshole:
when i was like 12 i used to hate one really bitchy and annoying girl from our class so i sent her a text “you will die in 7 days” during a class and she burst into tears and her mum went to police and i was so scared so i flushed my phone down the toilet
theyellowbrickroad:
My dad saw some scene kids sitting outside of this gas station and said “maybe they’re ghosts from 2008” omfg
h4wk-girl:
urinatings:
im never talking to a boy again
i congratulate you for talking to one in the first place
clever-one-word-url:
GUYS MY 10 YEAR OLD BROTHER WAS JUST TELLING BE ABOUT HOW HE KNOWS EVERY GUY’S CRUSH IN HIS CLASS AND H KEEPS TRACK OF IT SO THAT IF A GUY GETS A NEW CRUSH HE GOES AND CALLS THE GIRL AND LETS HER KNOW. HE LITERALLY USED THE PHRASE “I’M IN THE BUSINESS”.
GUYS
MY BROTHER IS A 5TH GRADE PIMP
“Maybe if your dick was thicker than your goddamn eyebrows we wouldn’t be having...”
– Gay couple arguing outside Walmart (via dacelio)
busty-karkat:
My science teacher used to teach all of his classes morse code until last year because last year he caught two kids cheating on the test and having a conversation across the room in morse code by blinking their eyelids. So he doesn’t teach morse code anymore and those kids have to wear sunglasses when they take tests
girlgrowingsmall:
stop-bitching-start-a-revolution:
Cosmo tip: When he pulls out his dick, perform the musical Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me
come-along-castiel:
Theres a drug raid in the house next door and the policemen who aren’t doing the raid are sitting on a trampoline. Welcome to Australia
tanhayi:
tanhayi:
Whoever came up with the myth that deleting someone’s pictures and words and texts and number will delete them out of one’s life was an absolute idiot.
How the hell…when the hell did this happen
“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who...”
– Lemony Snicket (via langleav)
doctorbaggins:
My aunt met someone at her store who worked on the set of The Avengers and he told her about how RDJ and Tom Hiddleston were always pranking each other on set and how Robert and Tom were doing a scene together and Robert couldn’t stay still in his Iron Man suit because he was feeling really uncomfortable so they had to take a break and during break Tom walked up to Robert and...
